This is the skit I performed at the Shrub Christmas Pageant. I was The Christmas Spirit. :D
BEHOLD!
ACT I
The scene is Christmas Eve in a typical suburban house.
NARRATOR: The scene is Christmas Eve in a typical suburban house. A mother and father have come to say good night to their two sons, who are unaware of the unspeakable horror that awaits them.
MOTHER: Good night kids! And remember, go straight to sleep, because it's Christmas Eve!
FATHER: That's right! Now that you boys are over seven, The Christmas Spirit can come for you at any time!
MOTHER: He only takes you if you're awake! So go straight to sleep!
(MOTHER and FATHER start to leave)
MOTHER: Momma wants a beer!
FATHER: And remember-
Good or bad? It's not worth squat
He only cares
If you're awake or not!
FATHER (leaving room again): Good night, kids! See you tomorrow... I hope!
(FATHER leaves room)
ACT II
("Neyhadar Zeytkewen" by Tewelde Redda begins playing- note: this is Tigrinya pop music)
(THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT emerges, wearing a ski mask and robe)
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (making a hissing noise, looking around): HWEEEH!
(strides over to two sleeping kids)
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (discovering kids): HWEEEH!
(bends down to snarl at kids)
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (to BOY UNDER BLANKET): HWEEEH!
(pauses, looks thoughtful while looking at other boy, then bends down to snarl at BOY IN SLEEPING BAG)
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT: HWEEEH!
BOY IN SLEEPING BAG: Nooooo!
(THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT throws hands up in glee, then begins dragging BOY IN SLEEPING BAG away)
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (suddenly running over to other boy): HWEEEH!
(looking disappointed, THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT resumes dragging BOY IN SLEEPING BAG away)
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3 comments:
I saw either the greatest or most awful piece of ASCII art, speaking of the Christmas Spirit.
...heh.
Also, Women who hunt. WHY.
I would say that's not only the best piece of ASCII art ever, but the best _collection_ of ASCII art ever.
I commented on your post... believe it or not, I do read your blog, I'm just sort of either a whirlwind of activity or I'm sluggish and sleepy as a result of being a whirlwind of activity. :D
I know, I know! Hee.
Oh, btw. I'm writing a book. By accident. I'll explain one of these days. We should hang out sometime when we're not retardedly busy.
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